So I'm staying in bed until I feel better.
Good evening. so its a Thursday night, we've had a few drinks and played a bit of kinect ( I know living the dream) so what better time to paint your nails right?
This may actually be one of my all time favourite nail polishes, and it was free with a magazine, what makes me sad is that I'll probably never be able to repurchase it. This was free with In Style magazine about a year ago. its called coral, and is well a coral colour....
ignore my disgusting cuticles.
It needs two coats, but is still gorgeous none the less. The day this runs out will be a very sad day for me. OK before I embarrass myself any more I'm going to go.
CIAOX
Hey. Just having a bit of a lazy afternoon. I went to the gym at lunch time and spent a good 45mins working out, which felt good. I'm getting a little frustrated though I have to say, I've been eating a lot better recently and exercising much more but don't seem to be loosing any weight at all. Now, I not its not just going to drop off instantly, but its been nearly two weeks now and nada... no weight loss. Maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. Thing is I've been down this road before, I throw myself into it and expect instant results, and when that doesn't happen loose all motivation. and give up again. stupid I know. I've just got to stick with it and it will start to happen. it might take a while to get started but once the ball is rolling, hopefully anyway, if that doesnt work then I'm blaming this bloody stick in my arm (nexplanon) and getting it removed!
ANYWAY. I digress... what I actually wanted to blog about was this.
This picture does it very little justice.
Now, I first spotted this in a tkmaxx store about 3 years ago. I fell in love but the price was still a little too high (£70) for my student budget. Even for tkmaxx that's pretty steep. So I left empty handed and broken hearted. the following week I got paid by work and fancied a splurge! I headed back to tkmaxx, but it was gone. I was devastated. I know this story may sound a little over dramatic. over the next few years I scouwered the internet to try and find it but couldn't remember the name of the designer etc. even to this day, whenever I go into a tkmaxx I have a quick glance to see if they have one in ( I know, I know completely pointless but still) I'd actually completely forgotten about it until now, I've just been looking though old pictures and came across this, my heart flipped!
Now, Don't get me wrong I'm aware that the chances of ever finding this bag on sale anywhere is incredibly slim but I still have the faintest glimmer of hope that someone, somewhere may put one on ebay or something! Someone in Leicester actually bought it from tkmaxx so I know at least one is around somewhere! anyway I'm going to keep researching it try and find out the style/name of it.
ciaox
So of late my skin has been playing up lets say. It seems that something is not agreeing with the nexplanon, I had fitted a few months ago, as I have started to get reasonably bad acne and dry skin on my chest, back, face and scalp. Yes, even on my scalp. I thought I'd try a few products to clear things up before seeing the doctor again. Apart from the acne, I haven't really suffered with anything else to do with the implant. ANYway, I thought I'd arm myself with some skin saving products.
So as you can see from the picture above there's Freederm, Oilatum and T/Gel. The Freederm was 2 for £7, and actually worked out really well because the cleanser is worth £9.18 on its own, so the gel was effectively free! I've seen/heard good things about the Oilatum cream so thought why not.
I'm out of foundation too so got the Bourjois Healthy Mix (vanilla 52) which is also on offer right now.
right, goodbye.x
So, I thought I'd just do a little update on the nail situation, Yes I know its only been four days since I first mentioned my efforts to grow them but anyway, I just thought I'd show you...
Ok, so this was four days ago, Looking at these two pictures now it doesn't look like a huge difference but actually I can see that they have grown.
They look much longer in real life too.
Anyway this was a pretty pointless post again, and I'm not even sure you can tell any difference between the pictures but oh well. BYE
SO today has been... I don't know how to explain... put it this way I spent 3 hours watching corrie, and the shaytards this morning then decided I wanted to get up, so proceeded to clean our room, after not very long and having done very little cleaning I then wanted to go on a bike ride, an hour later I came home played on my kinect for about 20 mins and then pretty much got back into bed again, where I proceeded to watch more videos/forest gump, until it got to the part where he breaks free from his leg braces and starts running. this led me to have the sudden urge to run. a few months ago I d/l the get running app, did it once and never really bothered again. Until tonight. I've just gotten back, and it's actually pretty nackering, for someone whose never really ran before and only just getting back into exercise... I feel really good though, which is positive. I'm going to try and continue with this, as I've been wanting to 'get running' as it were for quite a while. it's reasonably quiet where I live and pretty safe so I should be ok! probably wasn't my greastest idea to go for a job in the dark though...
anyway. so yeah, today I've kind gone from one extreme to the other, lying in bed to doing full blown exercise...
The boy should be home from work by now so I should probably go and chase him up!
ciao x
anyway. so yeah, today I've kind gone from one extreme to the other, lying in bed to doing full blown exercise...
The boy should be home from work by now so I should probably go and chase him up!
ciao x
My better half got me a xbox kinect for christmas, I got tow games too, your shape fitness evolved and dance central, I love them both and when I've used them for a few weeks may do a bit of a review... In a bid to shape up a bit after my recent weight gain. anyway they're both really fun and hopefully I can crack it this time and lose weight!
While I'm on it, here's a notd...
Maybelline Forever Strong in - Taupe Couture
This polish wears pretty well, it come outs a tad darker then the bottle colour but I really like it.
Maybelline Forever Strong in - Taupe Couture
This is my way of getting out of cleaning out room. anyway, here's yesterdays makeup, using Avon super shock gel liner, Revlon grow luscious mascara, and Accessorize shadow in gun metal.
I'm not sure what was so shocking...
So, there we are, a pretty pointless post, but a post none the less!
Hey,
just fancied a bit of an update post tbh.
I wanted to show you the necklace I ordered from *DAINTY*DOLLYMIX*
love.
on another note, I'm on a mission to grow my nails again. I go through phases of wanting really long nails and growing them for months then I seem to have a bit of a fit and chew them all off again. I don't know why, but sometimes I like to just start again. for 17 years of my life I chewed my nails right down, sometimes until they bled, yes I know that it's disgusting but it was a habit I couldn't break. anyway we're just starting week two of the 'grow' after having an 'episode' and chewing them right down to nothing.
I really don't know why blogger decides to flip my pictures, I don't know how to rotate sorry!
my secret weapons? the above. these two babies have been my nail saviours, and I have no doubts in their ability to perform. the nail growth miracle, it just that a miracle! I don't know how but it just works, my nails grow so much more quickly(which I guess you would expect from a nail growth formula) The nail envy is also another wonder product for me, when I used the matte version last year my nails we're literally unbreakable. I would sometimes have difficulty actually clipping them. sounds like slight exaggeration but it isn't. anyway I recently bought the original after not replenishing my other bottle for quite some time. I'll do an update post in a few weeks time to show you how I'm getting on.!
anyway, It's rather late so I'm going to jump into bed and have a bit of a read, I've literally just started to read a book called Room by Emma Donoghue, so maybe I'll do a book review once I've read it obviously.
Hi, Just felt like doing a bit of an update post. I'm in Leicester at the minute, Fred (the other half) is away skiing with his dad/brother and friends so I came to stay with his mummy.
I'm currently sat with the dogs, A big smelly Bull Mastiff and an equally smelly Jack Russell. I love them really. for some reason.
whilst out walking the dogs I saw this facing down in the muddy grass, recently me and various member of the family have gotten into the words with friends app, (username is sogexo if you think your hard enough!) and it got me wanting a scrabble tile ring/necklace I've seen them around and think they look really cute. anyway, when I saw this little thing I was like 'oohh that looks familure!' and when I turned it over it had the letter F, which is either a massive coincidence a reminder of how much I'm missing Fred
I ventured into Primark the other day, I literally hadn't been to one since moving to London as there just never seems to be one where ever I am, I was out in central and thought I'd go to the Oxford Street store. it wasn't as hellish as I had imagined and the queue wasn't evil either, it was surprisingly pleasant. I only picked up a few things, (a bag, two bras etc) and one other thing, this really pretty charm bracelet. I'm not a big wearer jewellery but this is just my style. its so cute I love it. the big heart locket actually opens too. it was only £2.50.
These pictures we're edited using the Instagram App on my iPhone. Anyway, yeah, these are just a few things I'm liking atm. I've been reading more recently and have been wanting book recommendations, I've ordered three from Amazon based on other bloggers reviews etc, they are Essays in Love, The Sky is Everywhere and Room. all quite different, I have quite varied tastes when it comes to books. I'm toying with the idea of getting a Kindle but I'm not sure, I love the physicality of reading and having real life pages to turn etc. sounds weird but I'm not sure I could give that up! if anyone else has other recommendations then feel free to comment. anyway, my student loan came in yesterday so I've got some online shopping to do.
ta tarrxx
I'm currently sat with the dogs, A big smelly Bull Mastiff and an equally smelly Jack Russell. I love them really. for some reason.
Maisie.
I checked out The Body Shop when passing through Paddington Station the other day and picked up this Sheer Lip Colour, its a really pretty coral pink. its really creamy too and I love it. they have quite a good sale on the make up at the minute so I might check out more, they only had a little bit left at that store but if you spend more than £15 online its free delivery.
These pictures we're edited using the Instagram App on my iPhone. Anyway, yeah, these are just a few things I'm liking atm. I've been reading more recently and have been wanting book recommendations, I've ordered three from Amazon based on other bloggers reviews etc, they are Essays in Love, The Sky is Everywhere and Room. all quite different, I have quite varied tastes when it comes to books. I'm toying with the idea of getting a Kindle but I'm not sure, I love the physicality of reading and having real life pages to turn etc. sounds weird but I'm not sure I could give that up! if anyone else has other recommendations then feel free to comment. anyway, my student loan came in yesterday so I've got some online shopping to do.
ta tarrxx
ok, so I've seen these around, and I'm sure you have too Nail Rock - I'm not going to show you how I applied these theres plenty of other people out there doing that I just wanted to share my results! I received mine for free - well technically I paid postage but still. you can too here. I chose the gold lace on white design - my inner chav coming out! tbh this design, although very pretty does just look like you've stuck stickers on your nails... essentially that is what you're doing but you dont want it to look that way... I think if my nails were longer it would look better and probably be a bit easier but other than that I'm pretty happy, its a cute idea, and I think like to try other designs.
I feel like every post I write starts with 'oh hasn't it been a long time' in fact that is all I ever write. I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is, I guess I feel like I need a project, or even just something to do. I used to love writing posts and still read them so why not...
The past few months have been the hardest in my life, and please don't think I'm after sympathy, it just helps to write things down sometimes, to tell anonymous people, that don't have to sit and try and say the right things. It’s just an outlet.
Last September we moved to London, this was made difficult by the fact we found out my dad had cancer, I've longed to live here forever and everything was starting to work out when wham... the big C came and slapped us all in the face. Despite the diagnosis, my dad still wanted me to move down here and fully supported every decision I made. At that stage we didn't know much about his cancer and it was pretty much a waiting game to find out if it had spread etc, if not it was just a case of removing the kidney and hoping for the best. anyway, we moved down to London (we - being me and my fiancé) this was quite daunting not only was I moving away from home but also moving in with my other half... ironic at that stage that, that was what I was worried about...the first few weeks it didn’t really feel like I was settling in, we had little money so couldn't really go out much and after a long boring summer I was just ready to start Uni - although another cause of angst. Uni started and it was actually not what I expected it took a few weeks to get into and work out, I’ve made amazing friends and now it’s not as scary as it first seemed, the student loan came and things we're looking up. as time goes on we get more results about the cancer and its worse than we thought, it had spread, they had found another tumour in the main artery joining his kidneys to his heart, ok serious but still optimistic this in theory was a doable operation. it was difficult being away from home when all these results we're coming to light, it was hard to really understand what was going on as I only had the info my dad was giving me and tbh, he was pretty vague, looking back he just didn’t want to worry anyone and tried to play it down as much as he could, we knew it would be a major operation as with any operation but he never really explained it all. being away from home and having the worry of it all really affected me in a way I didn’t even think possible, I've always been paranoid and slightly hypochondriac, I don't really know how it happened but it started when I became ill, just a bit of a tummy bug, it wasn’t even very severe, but I got myself so worked up about it and I was really worried, thinking the worst things and that it was something really serious, it sounds stupid now, I basically developed anxiety, in those few weeks I made several doctors appointments because I was convinced there was something wrong with me, I had panic attacks every day, I didn’t eat for two weeks, lost a stone then was paranoid about that, I wasn’t sleeping, in the morning I'd wake up anxious and then be worried about why I was anxious...pretty much at my lowest, it was exhausting. Basically it was a viscous circle, I would worry about something but, that would only happen if I was anxious if that makes sense - probably not. meanwhile we were waiting on a date for my dad’s operation, the weekend before his op was when I hit a low point and just had to come home. I couldn't stand being in the flat - My dad was never much of a talker, he came to pick me up from the station and just being able to sit in the car and get things off my chest felt better. that weekend was so up and down for me, I was happy to be home but still completely overcome with anxiety, I went to stay with my boyfriends family (without his mum I would never have even begun to get over it) and then went back to mine for a final night, we went into town the next day with my dad and brother - just for a walk round really and then I thought I'd go back to London,
last trip in town - just playing with my camera...
My dad kept saying 'oh you don't have to go back yet' but I thought it was for the best. I would come back when he came out of his operation (which was on a Wednesday) after his operation he would be in intensive care for a few days while he recovered (standard procedure) so I was to return when he was out of ICU. to cut a long story short (which admittedly I haven't done so far) There were complications during his operation, He lost a lot of blood and his other kidney had failed, because it took so long this meant that his blood wasn’t being 'cleaned' properly and was basically toxic leading to multi organ failure, during the op his heart rate was very low so his organs weren't getting enough oxygen - I'm sorry if this is a little graphic but sometimes I find it helps to re-tell how it happened. He was on full life support for three days following the op - amazingly he made it through the operation in the first place - all the cancer was removed - (ironically that was the easiest bit of the op according to the surgeon) He just never regained consciousness, his body didn’t respond to any of the drugs or dialysis machine - the doctors just kept saying we literally can't do anything more for him, he could suffer cardiac arrest at any minute because of all the drugs etc - it was really up and down, one minute it was 'he might only last a few more hours' then he would respond to something - if only a little bit, he really did try and fight, I believe with my whole heart that he was trying to fight it but just wasn’t strong enough in the end. We got to the Saturday morning after three days of it being up and down, one minute it was critical, the next it would feel like it could get better. It got to the stage of 'if his heart stops we won’t be able to do anything' we had to let him go. it was very quick in the end - it was basically 'when this runs out we won’t be replacing it' and it was only a few minutes after that he went - it was ironically peaceful and gentle - for such a strong man his heart just gradually came to a stop.
I'm sorry; I don't want to burden you with all that info.
After that everything’s been a bit of a daze, the week after we buried him, which still didn’t really seem real. And then it was 'get back to normal' which for me has been hard - I wasn't normal in the first pace. it's just completely surreal, I don't think I'll ever fully believe he's gone forever, and I don't really think he has - he'll always be with us just because of who we are.
So here we are now - 2 months on.
I’m sorry this turned out to be an utterly depressing post; I’ll try and lighten the mood next time. I guess for me 2010 will mean many different things, while a lot of bad has happened I’ve also been blessed with many good things, things that I’m so lucky to have, and that should really outweigh the bad but atm seem to be overshadowed I hope to be able to look back at some point and see those good things more clearly. Although I’ve lost my dad, I still have an amazing family that shouldn’t be taken advantage of, I pray for the day when we can all look back and remember him with less pain and sorrow and remember the good and happy times, because there are plenty of them to reminisce about. I love you Dad, and I’ll think about you everyday of forever. Xx
